


On The Inside

by matters17793



Series: Harry Potter Previous Generation [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Declarations Of Love, Depression, F/M, Feelings, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, LGBTQ, Loyalty, M/M, Secret Crush, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matters17793/pseuds/matters17793
Summary: Set two months after"From The Outside"James has been noticing the way that Sirius has been acting, and decides he has to find out the truth.THIS WORK IS COMPLETE.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/James Potter (one-sided)
Series: Harry Potter Previous Generation [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082615
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	On The Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This hopefully follows on nicely from the previous part of this series.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.

The previous few weeks had been awkward for Sirius. His attraction to James grew and grew, becoming more difficult to hide from everyone. To Remus, it was painful to see Sirius was still going through this, and even if he knew how, he didn't want to use magic to change things.

Lily had been subtly noting everything that Sirius had been doing, whilst not always sharing these observations with James. She didn't know for sure what was happening, and felt that the only way to truly find out would be to let things come out when they are meant to.

Sitting in the Leaky Cauldron, Sirius found it complicated to do anything other than look down at the table, wanting to drink his butterbeer and not have to interact with anyone. Remus had followed Sirius and sat down opposite him, although Sirius didn't make eye contact once.

"I think this is getting out of hand" Remus observed.

"What, so I should just find a way to remove all attraction to James?!" Sirius snapped.

"I'm not saying that at all!" Remus insisted "But as far as I'm concerned, now is as good a time as ever"

Previously, Remus had wanted to let everything go through in it's own time, but he knew doing so was also destroying Sirius. He was going to try and encourage his best friend to find the courage to tell James how he truly felt about him.

"I genuinely thought that telling you would help me get my life back" Sirius sighed "Perhaps I should have just kept my feelings private"

"Well, I can tell you that you were right to tell me" Remus soothed.

"And what's happened since? My love for James has grown and now I can't hide it anymore" Sirius persisted.

"Which is why you should tell him" Remus countered.

"Whatever" Sirius mumbled.

Even though Remus had started to think that this was going to end up going nowhere, Sirius had started to think about what had been said. He used logic for the first time in a while, and realised that with the situation being as it was, he had nothing to lose.

Meanwhile, Lily and James were at home, feeling both happy and awkward at the same time. James was always happy when he was with Lily, but he had become intrigued with Sirius' behaviour. He thought at first he was imagining everything, so he wanted to get Lily's opinion.

"Have you seen how Sirius has been lately?" James opened "Something very clearly has changed about him"

"I know what you mean" Lily reacted "But has something really changed, or have we only just started noticing?"

"He looks at me all of the time, yet will not talk to me" James continued.

"Maybe he's going through a rough time" Lily suggested.

As if acting on instinct, James quickly went and got a moving photo from when they were out partying the other evening. He thought that it might help to give him some clues as to what was going on. He returned and sat next to Lily, studying it carefully.

"He was so distant from us that night" James stated.

"It broke my heart to see Sirius so sad" Lily said.

"Wait a minute, look at what he's doing" James gasped.

As they watched the photo, they saw Sirius write a note on a piece of parchment, before he put it in his pocket. While it may have been completely unrelated, James believed it to be of some significance. Lily watched on with interest, as Sirius followed this up by talking to Remus.

"I bet Remus would know" Lily interjected.

"Well maybe he---" James began.

There was a knock at the door, causing James to put the photo down, albeit under the table out of sight. Lily went to open the door, and was astonished to find that both Remus and Sirius were there. She just hoped that this evening would give them some clarification.

"Hello" Lily opened.

"Is James in?" Sirius posed.

"Of course, just through there" Lily replied.

"Good, I need to talk to him" Sirius explained.

"And it's important" Remus added.

As Lily let them in, she saw the way that Sirius literally rushed through the kitchen door to join James. Sirius didn't waste time, and quickly hugged his secret crush. He had wanted to do it for ages, but now seemed like the best time to.

"Are you okay?" James greeted.

"I have to talk to you" Sirius stated "I can't hold this in a moment longer"

"Take a seat" James encouraged.

Using his wand, James changed the lighting to make it less bright and more welcoming, watching as Remus and Lily both took a seat beside them. James looked at Sirius, and just wanted his friend to be happy once more, hoping that would be the result of the upcoming conversation.

"So, I... I've been going through a really bad time emotionally" Sirius opened.

"In what way?" James questioned.

"I've had feelings for someone that I believed I shouldn't" Sirius muttered "And the idea of this person hating me, absolutely destroys me"

"Why would this person hate you?" James pressed.

"Well, it would affect a very close bond" Sirius revealed.

It was in that moment that Lily finally realised what Sirius was feeling. She remained silent, as she knew this was going to be a big moment, but was also anxious, because James was her boyfriend, and she loved him so much. She didn't want anything to go bad for either her or Sirius.

"Who is the lucky lady then?" James continued.

"That's the thing... It's not a lady, exactly" Sirius rejoined.

"Okay then, who is the lucky fella?" James corrected.

Remus had tried sending positive thoughts to Sirius as the conversation was taking place, trying desperately to give his friend all of the confidence and reassurance that he could ever need. He was sure James wouldn't be angry, but was prepared to stop anything bad happening, if he so had to.

"His name is..." Sirius struggled "He's called..."

"If he means that much to you, just say his name" James calmed "I won't be angry with any name that comes out of your mouth"

"It's... you, James Potter" Sirius declared.

At that point, James went wide eyed, and looked so confused. He was not expecting to hear his own name come from Sirius, and whilst he was quiet, Sirius decided to take action. This was all the confirmation needed to know that James didn't accept it.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything" Sirius cried.

"W-wait!" James stuttered.

But it was too late. When he stood up and walked out of the room, Sirius looked at Remus, who immediately followed him out of the house. The situation had become much more complicated, and now Sirius didn't know what he should do.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
